Easy does it.
Almost 3 weeks since surgery. The knee is slowly healing. I can limp at home without cruches. The inner sun is pretty strong. Knee and I are building relationship. And we do not always agree. We´re both together as one and as two separate entities. I haven assured knee that its ok to take its time it (k)needs to heal. No rush, no push, am in total acceptance. Even if at times are very tiering of jumping on crutches, being limited, slippery or when actions simply takes double the time. I am consciously rebooting my system, observing speedy multitasking Sanna, to one thing at the time Sanna. Seeing how programs valuing fast more than slow. Challenging that belief, the agitation, the irritation to instead take a deep breath and accept the fact of now. Feeding what is instead of feeding what could be.
Its fascinating to learn how body compensates. The muscles around the knees and my hamstrings are disconnected. Normally I have good body control, but I cant even lift the leg and walk over a 20cm "hinder", after there is no muscle activity and the leg simply hangs in the air. Instead my poor calf and wrist is preforming the work in combo with the hip flexor which creates cramps and tension. Atleast now, I can start the journey of building muscle again and slowly re-align.
Again, blessed this happened now and not when I need to travel and work. I managed to have a good catch up with myself, grounding and nourishing the roots. I have cleaned up around me, had challenging conversations, put some friendships on pause, being more clear with boundaries, expressed some truths that definitely can be a gun-shot in my own knee ( the other one ). But that doesn´t matter. Basically, I have promised myself to become 99% soulfully truthful ( with curiosity what that last 1% contains ) and not compromise. Doesn´t matter what teacher, what person or what opportunity I might miss. Honesty to my soul, heart and integrity is the most important. Knowing I stand for the good stuff in life.
I wrapped this up with taking a GIANT ( I mean GIANT ) leap that stretches me FAR outside the comfort zone, I learned on an energetic level what it takes for me to feel utterly uncomfortable VS comfortable at the same time taking my life very serious - in a positive way! More of that will come when time is right.
Right here, right now, sitting still, am pretty good.
Easy does it.
And lets see what the future brings, when it comes